We Are Home

We have arrived home with our little American citizen, Chloe. She spent the entire time in immigrations flirting with the officers. Why does that not surprise me?

Skylar has been great with her little sister and Chloe seems interested in what she is doing. I will post more in a day or two along with some photos, but tonight my internal clock is way off. Time to go to bed and hopefully get back on PacNW time.

It sure is good to be home. Cheers!!

My Letter to Chloe

My dear little panda bear,

Today is our last day in China. Tomorrow morning we board a plane and head to your new home where your sister, grandpa, and great-grandma are all anxiously waiting to meet you.

These last ten days we’ve spent with you in China have been amazing. You are by far one of the happiest babies in the group. You have a beautiful smile that you share with anyone who will take the time to greet you. You have one of those smiles that encompass your entire face and even your eyes light up with joy. This morning we were playing copycat and you blew me your first kiss from across the breakfast table. I will always remember that moment.

I will also always remember our goofy “conversations”. You like to say “ah da” and if I repeat it back to you we can go on and on for minutes with some very intellectual and stimulating conversations.

Chloe, I can’t properly put into words how grateful I am and just how lucky I feel to have you in my life. I know it sounds trite to say that I loved you from the moment I saw your picture, but it is so very true. How could I not? You are loved beyond measure by us and I hope you sense that.

I want you to know that your birth mother also loved you. While we do not know who she is, we can tell you were very loved by where she took you so you would be safe. Your birth mother also placed a red thread around your neck to wish you special luck and good fortunes. China is a very complex place and she was not able to keep you, but she made a decision that would keep you safe and would allow you to find us, your forever family.

I promise to love you and keep you safe. I promise to be there to tuck you into bed each night and to read you your bedtime stories. I promise to always support you and to be on the sidelines cheering you on with whatever you do. I promise to be overly protective, to annoy you sometimes and to probably embarrass you in front of your friends at least once or twice. I promise to bring you and your jie jie (older sister) back to China when you are older so we can all experience this fascinating place together as a forever family.

Forever, with love, your ma ma

"An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break." - Ancient Chinese Proverb

Long Distance Friendships Realized and The Red Sofa

The wait for Chloe was a long one but it was not a lonely journey. Thanks to the wonders of the internet, we made many friends during the 2.5 year wait. As soon as our paperwork was sent to China we discovered Yahoo Group communities. First I joined a group for all families that were with our adoption agency that had a “dossier to China” date during the month of December 05 or January 06. We got to know each other and passed the time by chatting, participating in postcard exchanges, secret pal match-ups and even an online baby shower. We all shared in the joy as the families with the earlier logged-in dates received their referrals and traveled to China to meet their daughters. We also gained knowledge from their experiences while in China.

As it got closer to the time when we’d receive our referral, those of us with a January 12, 2006 logged-in date also formed our own Yahoo group. These are the people I am in China with right now. Of all the people traveling to China at the same time, there were 13 families who went to the Guangxi province. We feel very fortunate to have had such wonderful families in our Guangxi travel group. We all received our children at the same time, we participated in tours and several group meals together, and we had the opportunity to sit and chat at length with most everyone in this group. They are all truly remarkable people and I know I will keep in touch with many of them. It will be fascinating to see pictures as their children grow and I hope that someday I will get the opportunity to see some of them again.

One of the traditions for adopting families that stay at the White Swan hotel is to get photograph of all the children in the travel group sitting on the “red sofa”. Here is a picture of the 13 children from our travel group.

And here is a picture of four (out of the five) girls from the Guiping Social Welfare Institute.

Another tradition at the White Swan is the (very non P.C. but still priceless) adoption Barbie Doll. It is an honest to goodness (Caucasian) Mattel Barbie doll holding a Chinese baby inside a box with caption that reads “Going Home”. The back of the box says “This souvenir is presented by Mattel (HK) Ltd. to adopting parents of Chinese orphan children staying at the White Swan Hotel, Guangzhou, China.” You can not purchase these dolls anywhere. They are a limited edition given ONLY to adopting families. This is the 6th edition of the doll.

I had to include this picture today. Chloe was sitting on the floor playing with her toys. Next thing I knew she had her legs straight out in front of her, her head was laying on the ground, her thumb was in her mouth and she was sound asleep. She stayed like that for about 30 minutes. Then she sat up and kept on playing. Can you tell that she is feeling more and more secure around us?

Power Shopping and Blessings

Today was my day to shop. I went with three other girls and we paid a guide to take us shopping at all of the non-tourist stores. It was wonderful. All we had to do was tell her what we wanted buy and she would take us to the proper stores. We’d then pick out what we wanted and she did all of the negotiating. I bought so many things that I need to buy an extra suitcase tomorrow to get everything home. The prices were fantastic, but on the flip side I realized just how badly I was taken when I shopped a few days earlier in Guangzhou. (Fortunately I got good prices when I was shopping on my own in Nanning, but that is not a big tourist city either so that probably helped.) I sure wish I had my camera with me because we went to one market place that reminded me of something out of an Indian Jones movie. Wow!

Later on in the day we took Chloe to a Buddhist temple and the three of us were blessed by a monk. (Thankfully, I did have my camera for this excursion.) The temple was fascinating and the blessing was a cool experience. I figure as new parents again we need all the help we can get.

Chloe had a great day today, however last night she experienced some night terrors. It was so hard to sit by helplessly while she screamed. Ted had to hold her and rock her into a sound sleep and then she was fine the rest of the night. When she awoke the next morning she was fine. She has been a happy baby since a few hours after our gotcha moment, but every single day she gets happier and more content. What a joy to watch.

Chen Family Temple

I'm sitting in our hotel room on the 26th floor, having a cup of tea and I can still hear the soft sound of Chinese wind instrument being played on the street below. It is such a beautiful sound.

Today we went to the Chen Family Temple. The most recognizable Chen family member that you may know is Jackie Chen. This was by far the best tour we have been on this entire trip. The art work inside the temple was magnificent. There were carnings on everything imaginable - granite stones, wood, ivory, cinnabar, and even olive pits. One room had the most breathtaking embroidery that I have ever seen. It was as if I was looking at a photograph and not stitches of thread.

As you can see from the photo, Chloe was not as impressed with the temple as we were. We also managed to do some shopping today, but I plan to do the power shopping tomorrow.

I don't have much to write about tonight because I think this whole experience has finally caught up with me and I'm exhausted. It's nothing that a good nights sleep won't cure. I would however like to take a moment and say "thank you" to all of you that have posted comments. Your kind words have been so encouraging. When we return home I plan to print this blog with all of my posts and your comments and create a book for Chloe. Someday she can read the book and see how wonderful this journey was for us.

A Change of Scenery and Even More Progress

Chloe took her fist airplane ride today and she did remarkably well. She is such a happy baby. We’ve discovered that if there is motion, any kind of motion, she will say “ohhhhhhhhhh” so that the vibration of the movement makes a funny sound coming out of her mouth. She does this on bus ride, stroller rides, a bounce on daddy’s knee and even airplanes.

We are now in Guangzhou on Shamian Island. The island is like its own little world. There is very little car traffic and there are many more shops and restaurants to visit here as opposed to Nanning. The only thing we don’t care for is the bartering. I so dislike to barter. We were joking today that we feel like we are in Puerto Vallarta because if you pass by a shop they are trying to entice you to come into their store. Once inside nothing has a price on it. They tell you a price, you offer them 60% of what they said, they say no and ask for something higher then 60%, you counter offer, they say no, you start to walk out, they change their mind. See I’ve been here less then a day and I already have this down to a science… but I still dislike doing it.

My two favorite things about Shamian Island are the hotel and the Starbucks. Yes, Starbucks!!! (Hey, you try having instant Nestle’s coffee every morning for eight days straight and I bet you too would be craving a good cup of coffee.) It looks exactly like the Starbucks at home. The hotel is also very nice. Now this truly is a five-star hotel. We have a suite here and we are glad we do. One room has become Chloe’s play room. We’ve discovered that she doesn’t crawl… she scoots along on her bottom to get were she wants to go.

Chloe now smiles at everyone that is willing to pay attention to her. She crinkles up her nose when giving someone her special BIG smile. I even got to hold her today several times and for a while there was very little fussing. This evening I held her and fed her a bottle. She’d drink for about 30 seconds, then stop and cry but she would start drinking again. We made it through the entire bottle together. Ya!!!

Today we had Chloe’s picture taken for her visa and we also did the “medical exam” (I use the term very loosely) for the visa. The exam is done at a clinic for children being adopted. We spent more time shuffling from room to room then we did for the exams. The important part is that she passed. She is 18.74 pounds, and 30.32 inches long. After this we only have one more piece of the adoption to complete and that involves the U.S. Consulate. I sure hope everything goes smoothly there. The only part I worry about is a silly address mistake made by the State Department of Immigrations. I have no idea how or why they did it, but somewhere along the line they have us living in a different city but all of my supporting documents have the correct city. Every items they sent us arrived at our address because the street and zip code were correct so I never noticed the city blunder until just last month. With my luck it will be earth shattering (a.k.a. adoption stopping).

The Kindness of Children

This morning at breakfast three little Chinese girls and their American father, mother and grandmother were walking around to each table where newly adopted children were seated. Two of the girls were eight year old twins that were adopted from this province when they were 10 months old and other girl was their older sister (via adoption). These girls were handing each child a large, beautiful Gund stuffed animal lovey. As the girls were doing so, their father was explaining why. The family has returned to China for a heritage visit. In preparation for this journey the three girls had been raising money for the last year-and-a-half to buy several of these loveys so that they can deliver them to two orphanages. Since the girls themselves had been given a similar item by their parents many years ago and they still went to bed every night with these very precious loveys, they decided that they also wanted all the children that were in the restaurant that morning who just found their forever families to have one also.

The girls’ grandmother stood back and watch everything take place. I walked up to talk to her and as she fought back her tears she expressed how proud she was of them and wonderful it was to see so many orphans with their forever families.

Next to the experience we had Monday when Chloe was placed in our arms for the first time, this has to be the most moving experience of this trip. These girls worked to raise their OWN money so they could give something special to the children in the orphanages. And it was so touching that they also wanted the lucky little girls who found their new homes to have a lovey also so they can feel safe and secure was too emotional for words.

Here is a picture of the three very sweet girls with Chloe and Ted.

Today we were given Chloe’s Chinese passport. Tomorrow morning we head to Guangzhou for the last leg of our journey. We will be there until July 10 in order to complete the process of Chloe becoming a U.S. citizen and so we can obtain her American travel visa.

Chloe is Amazing

I know that every parent gushes over how cute and smart their child is, but Ted and I are astounded at how much Chloe is like Skylar. From her personality to her smile to her friendly nature… this is what Skylar was like four years ago. (Only Skylar never sat there and sucked on her own toes. My goodness this child is limber!) We complained at how long the wait was to get our child and kept wishing the process would speed up. But I have to say that there is a reason for everything in this world and our long, long wait for a referral was for a reason. This **is** our daughter. We had to wait so long because she wasn’t born yet.

We saw some local sites today, but we were apparently also quite the sight. While walking in the park a group of teenagers passed by us and one girl said “Hello, nice to meet you.” When we replied in kind the teenagers laughed as if they were excited to get a response. Shortly there after an elderly Chinese lady stopped us to talk. Her English was very good. She asked us if this was our daughter and where she was from. She told us Chloe is very lucky and we told her that we are the lucky ones. She wanted to know what we thought of China and we told her we liked it very much. How can we not? The people have been very friendly to us. China is very different from any other country I have been to, but it’s the people that make the country interesting. There is also thousands of year of traditions here and while the cities are evolving they are pound of there heritage.

We took a picture of Chloe with the dragon today. A Chinese lady came up to us with her baby and wanted us to take a picture with Chloe. Apparently this happens a lot.

This is a picture of our guide, Michael. We would be completely lost without him. He has been amazing. Saying he's our guide doesn't accurately capture everything he does for us and our group.

We think we have a better idea of why Chloe is not warming up to me as quickly as I would like. She doesn’t want ANY woman to hold her and in many cases touch her. When you compare how she response with other women to how she responds with me, heck, I’m her best friend. She will let me kiss her on the cheek, and she fed me Cheerios today so there is definitely even more progress. We simply think she is really grieving the loss of her foster mom and we are going to have to give her time.

Walmart, Pearls and a Small Bit of Progress

Today was shopping day for us. We first went to Walmart… yes, I’m serious. Walmart here is two stories tall and it is in a shopping mall area. We went there to buy diapers, wipes, and various other items for the baby and for us. It is the strangest thing walking around and seeing familiar items that we’d buy in the U.S. but now with Chinese packaging – Coke, Crest Toothpaste, Listerine, Pampers, Huggies wipes. It was a hoot.

After Walmart we went to the Nike store to buy us each a shirt. Let’s just say the clothing sizes in China are VERY different from the sizes in the U.S. The people working in the store were fascinated by Chloe but they knew no English (except for “XXL”). Fortunately our guide was kind enough to give each family a badge that we could wear around our neck when we went out that contains a note written in Chinese explaining where were are from and that we are adopting a Chinese baby. It came in very handy. People were interested in us and they were very nice. One lady on the street wanted to know why we chose China and if we would bring Chloe back to China someday.

While waiting for all of the other families to finish their shopping we sat outside and ate a McDonalds’ ice cream cone. Chloe loved this! She would let me put the ice cream on her tongue and she kept asking for more. I also experienced more progress on this shopping trip. Chloe discovered that she liked to play and pull at my hair. I was just happy that she was taking any interest in me at all. She also played a game with me where she’d put her hand up to my mouth and see if I’d kiss it. I still can’t hold her, but at least there wasn’t tears when I smiled at her today.

While Chloe (and daddy) napped I went shopping for pearls. I wanted to get something that came from the Guangxi province and pearls are one of the items from here. The prices for items like pearls in China are wonderful. I ended up buying both Skylar and Chloe presents for their 16 and 18 birthdays. Of course I bought something for me too. The ladies behind the counter were so nice to us. I only went to the store with one other family and between the three of us we had five people helping us. I just had to take their picture before we left.

This evening ended with a party in one of the adopting family’s room. Most everyone from our travel group was there. It was very nice to relax and to get the children together to play.

Chloe is Officially Our Child - According to China

We have now completed the Chinese portion of the adoption and Chloe is officially our daughter according to the Chinese government. Today we had two appointments to make this a reality.

Our first appointment was back at the Civil Affairs Office. So, all climbed back onto a bus for the jaw-clenching ride. The appointment began with the interview process. Each family had to be interviewed one family at a time. The types of questions that were asked were “How was the baby last night?”… “Do we know how to take care of a baby?”… “Are we happy with this baby?”… “Why did we choose to adopt from China?”… “Do we promise to love her and never hurt her?” During the interview Chloe was just smiling and playing. It was adorable.

After all families were interviewed we moved back into the room where we received our babies yesterday. A government official gave a speech and then called each family up one at a time to give us our adoption registration. As each family walked up to get their registration the Director from that orphanage also came up and gave the family a gift and a packet of pictures of the child back at the orphanage. In our case the gift was a handmade Chinese bag that was made in the city where Chloe is from. As for those pictures, they are priceless. There is one photo that must have been taken the day she was taken to the orphanage. Other photos are of Chloe playing in the orphanage and there is even some photos that we think are of her home city. The city photos have some captions written in Chinese and we need to get them translated.

Once we all received our adoption registration the government official made one final speech telling us that we are now the parents of our little girls and congratulations. Then we paid all of the fees associated with the orphanage. I have never been so happy to part with money in my entire life.

Next we all loaded back onto the bus for the drive to the Notary Office. Again each family had a short interview; this time with the Notary. These were questions such as “What do you do for a living?”… “What year were you married?”… and once again “Do we promise to love her and never hurt her?” Then we were done.

All-in-all, the appointments took us just under four hours. Chloe was a trooper during this whole time but again she remained in Ted’s arms and not mine. When we returned to the hotel we had lunch with several other families. Chloe ate some rice and even a tiny bit of egg drop soup. (At breakfast this morning she chowed down about half a bowl of congee.) Then we went back to the room for a nap.

Chloe is eating well and she loves to play. Ba Ba (daddy) will make a tower out of the stacking cups and she will knock it over. She doesn’t seem to like things neatly put together and it is her mission to turn order into chaos when it comes to toys. She is absolutely beautiful. She smiles and giggles a lot. She even started singing again today. She likes to suck her thumb. She sure loves her daddy. Sometimes when he holds her she will rest her head against his chest. It is so precious! Ted still can’t leave the room without her erupting into the biggest tears I have ever seen.

Now to the difficult part… at least for me. Chloe LOVES her daddy. She still won’t let me even hold her. I can’t give her a bottle and I couldn’t spoon feed her at lunch today. Occasionally she will let me place a Cheerio in her mouth, but most times when I try and will stop me and take it out of my hand and do it herself. While we were at the appointments today she would at least smile at me. Now after nap this has all changed. She will be completely fine sitting by daddy until she looks up at me. If I smile at her she beings to cry those big tears and she reaches for daddy. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me. This rejection is heartbreaking for me.